A husband-to-be may leave behind his parents and join his wife, but does he have to leave his friends behind, too?  Nope.  (Breathe a sigh of relief).

It’s not uncommon for both a groom and his pals to assume that their posse is disintegrating. If this is an issue that has come up between you and your fiancé, know this: you are not alone and, together, you can have that wedding cake and eat it, too. In other words, don’t let this become a bigger issue than it needs to be, because there is a remedy. 

While stating the obvious, weddings are a time of change, but not only for the bride-and-groom. Family and friends will experience change as well.

“It’s important to know which friends are really in support of the wedding,” advises Deborah McMahon, a marriage and family therapist based in Playa del Rey, Calif.

Not supportive? Think of tuxed best-man Alec Baldwin telling groom Kevin Bacon, as they sit outside the church, that he could still cut out (John Hughes’ 1988 “She’s Having A Baby”). That’s an example of not supportive.

This is also a  chaotic time, with everyone putting in their proverbial two-cents. The couple at the center of the storm may feel they have to make everyone happy.

“Friends wonder where they’ll fit into the new couple’s life. Bachelor parties and bachelorette parties can be potential for disaster if the people throwing them think the wedding is a mistake.”

In other words, adds McMahon, “Friends can be a great asset in getting through the wedding or the can create major drama for the couple.”

And, since the couples are beginning their lives together, it’s a “good first step in declaring themselves a team.” It is a good first step in declaring themselves a team, because, McMahon says, the most common problem a couple encounters are their single friends worry about losing their place in the bride’s or groom’s life.

This is a good time for the couple to confirm their own bond, be strong and establish boundaries with friends. The wedding couple must decide before the actual wedding how they envision their married life, make a mutual decision, and tell their friends how they’d like them integrated into their married lives.

McMahon stresses a couple must absolutely make a mutual decision and not be placed in a divisive position by needling friends.

Friends, McMahon says, “can and do break up marriages.” The couple must put their own relationship first.