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Mom. She’s been your Number-One gal for a long time. And now she’s about to hand you off to someone else, another woman. Another woman who will officially become your new Number One. It’s a big day for both of you, which is why you’ll want to do everything in your power to make her a part of it.
 Mom. She’s been your Number-One gal for a long time. And now she’s about to hand you off to someone else, another woman. Another woman who will officially become your new Number One. It’s a big day for both of you, which is why you’ll want to do everything in your power to make her a part of it. Fortunately, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Tradition has carved a clear (if rather small) niche for the responsibilities of the mother of the groom. How rigidly you stick to these traditions is completely up to you (and her). Once upon a time, the mother of the bride did all of the maternal work of a wedding. All the mother of the groom had to do was show up and look nice and not fuss. But that was long ago and far away. Grooms are now a major part of the wedding planning, and their mothers have a greater part in the wedding. Mom’s first responsibility during the engagement is to contact the bride’s parents and offer to help in any way she can. Here’s a small checklist you can go over with mom and make sure she feels comfortable with her responsibilities: · Traditionally, the groom’s parents will at least plan and host the rehearsal dinner. · Mom should also help come up with your family’s guest list, being mindful of your limits and not inviting third cousins twice-removed. · She can chase down the guests who didn’t RSVP in time; giving her yet another excuse to get on the phone. · Mom is expected to attend the bridal shower and bring a gift—lingerie is up to mom’s discretion. · In Christian ceremonies, the mother of the groom sits in the first pew. In Jewish ceremonies, the mother of the groom escorts her son down the aisle and stands with him at the chuppah. · If there’s to be a lighting of a wedding candle, both the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom perform this ceremony together. · Mom can help with creative projects as well, such as putting together gift bags for the guests or arranging the seating assignments. · She can help make it known to your family and friends where you and your bride are registered. · If there’s going to be a mother/son dance, you and mom should work together to choose the song. · She also supports the father of the groom when he delivers his toast to the happy couple. Before mom buys a dress for the big day, she should talk with the mother of the bride to see if she wants your mom’s dress to compliment her own in color or style. While the color of the mom’s dress can compliment that of the mother of the bride, it shouldn’t match it, nor should it match the color of the bridesmaid’s dresses. Beyond the traditional roles imposed upon her, mom might also be asked to help research vendors, sites and other resources. Just keep mom looped in throughout the engagement and ask her what she’s willing to do to help. If she wants to remain hands-off, just tell her to show up, look nice, and don’t make a fuss
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