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 How Today’s Grooms Are No Longer “Just Showing Up,” But Taking An Active Role in Their Wedding Plans
Today’s groom may not be interested in or allowed to participate in choosing his bride’s gown, but the nation’s top wedding planners agree: he’s way more involved in wedding planning than he’s ever been.
“Grooms are really taking an active part in the planning, they are no longer content to be passive and saying ‘Just tell me what time to be there!’" enthuses author Linnyette Richardson-Hall of of TV’s “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway” and Baltimore’s Premiere Event Management. “They work with caterers on menu selections and bar offerings, scope out entertainment and pay close attention to the "mood" for their big shindig.”
Gone, too, are the days when wedding planners met the groom at the initial meeting and not again until the actual ceremony. These days, says Linnyette Richardson-Hall, “It's more than likely” she’ll see a groom at “the florist, the caterer, the limo company, the bakery, the linen rental facility - almost every single aspect...he's front and center.”
If any aspect of wedding planning has been the groom’s bailiwick, it’s traditionally the reception music. “Grooms have always had a personal interest in their band or DJ,” says Jenna Ball of The Ritz Carleton Las Vegas. Adds wedding planner Rena Puebla, who says that DJs are passé and there’s more of an “emphasis on hiring a live band,” an aspect the groom usually has “a large influence” on have always been the tunes.
San Diego’s Melissa Barrad of I Do...Weddings! says, “Grooms focus on food, music, beverages and definitely cake tasting!”
And for the grooms, and their newly found interest in wedding planning, it’s not “work” or an obligation. “Grooms are having a lot more fun with weddings of course - the food,” says Haley Hughes of En Vogue Events Houston, Tex. “The grooms love picking the menu and signature drinks.”
Concurring, Samantha Goldberg of New Jersey’s Gold Events tells Groomsonline.com she finds “bride and groom are now dividing areas,” with the groom focusing on “a band or DJ,” choosing “the menu and [joining in on] cake tasting.”
Speaking of cake tasting and the groom’s role, “the newest trend is not doing a groom's cake but something else such as donuts or blueberry muffins, mini pies even cobblers,” adds Hughes.
Pampering has long been a traditional part of the bride (and often bridesmaid’s) pre-wedding plans. Now, “More and more men are spending the day before their wedding, relaxing and taking time to themselves and friends,” says Puebla. “Often, the groom and his party go to a spa the day before the wedding and get pedicures/manicures, body massages, and other treatments."
It’s definitely a “big trend, grooms getting groomed,” adds Janice Fernetti, creator of the Total Wedding Planner and the Total Wedding Show. “I'm not talking about a shower, shave and haircut," but "getting professionally groomed to look his absolute best as he stands beside his beautiful bride. Many spas now offer this service for men as demand increases dramatically. In fact many offer "grooms packages" specifically tailored for grooms-to-be. These packages typically include a men's facial, eyebrow trimmed or waxed, a professional close shave, a manicure and of course a hair cut. Many grooms are opting for a trip to the dentist as well to have their teeth whitened. As for their fitness they are using personal trainers a few weeks away from their nuptials to work on improving their physique to be in great shape for the wedding and honeymoon.”
A relatively new arena that’s become the boys' baliwick are the potentially technological aspects, which, “are really taking center stage” for grooms, says Melissa Barrad of I Do...Weddings! “Interactive blogs, websites, slide shows, custom CD favors and digital photo booths are often the groom’s vision,” as well as “creating a wedding website to keep guests updated on wedding plans.” Through updating the website, many grooms are keeping their own blogs, setting itineraries and even seating arrangements, says Barrad.
Grooms use tech prowess to create Power Point slide shows, as well as videos for pre-parties and receptions.
Most of the wedding planners Groomsonline spoke to agree that a major factor in the groom’s growing interest in the wedding is the fact that more couples are paying for their own weddings, and for some, the groom takes the monetary reins. That’s a big change from the time when a bride’s parents held sole financial responsibility. The engaged couple often felt the parents had input rights or a groom felt that since his fiance’s parents were footing the bill, therefore, their daughter’s decisions were all encompassing.
Gold Events’ Goldberg, a planner for two Style Net TV shows, welcomes the new trend of grooms’ participation, this has resulted in seeing a calmer bride who does not feel she is alone in the decision making process.” But, she warns, “be careful what you wish for in your grooms participation. You may get this and a whole lot more!
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